Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Mommy Group 101

So there's a new mom in our mommy group. I met her about two weeks ago, she'd just moved from San Diego. She seemed nice at first -- and don't get me wrong, she's still nice. I think she's just a bit too much. She's one of those in your face kinda girls. She's just got that personality. From day one almost, she was acting like she'd known me forever. It bothers me a tad, but mostly because of what I've been going through lately. A friend of mine posted an "FYI" thread on our play group message board about what had happened with me and to please not ask me about it because I don't want to talk, etc. Anyway, she was the FIRST to respond to it with this message "B-----....I have you and your family in my thoughts.. Take Care of yourself!!". The first to respond? I mean, at this point, I'd met her once. Stop me if I'm being harsh...I'm sure I am. It's my middle freakin' name. But still. THEN, at the Christmas in July pot luck last Friday she had her THONG hanging out and some kid came up and started playing with it. Can you imagine? And then she realizes it and says uber loud "OH MY GOD, MY THONG!!!!!!!!!" Announcing it to the world. First of all, she shouldn't be wearing a thong in the first place...I will be politically correct and not inject my opinion as to why she shouldn't. And then, SHE was the one who won the pot luck prize. Her dish wasn't good. It had no taste. I'll give you the list of ingredients and you decide. She's proudly posted her recipe on our group discussion board so that everyone can have it.

** Frozen CHEESE Tortellini

** Bacon Ranch Dressing

** Rotisserie chicken (canned chicken works well too)

** Black olives sliced

** Parmesan Cheese (Fresh Grated)

** Pepper to taste

Cook the tortellini cooked according to package directions. Shred up the rotisserie chicken into a serving dish. Drain and let the tortellini cool. Put onto shredded chicken. Add black olives, pepper and ranch dressing. Give it a good toss. Put in fridge for about an hour, covered. Add more ranch dressing if need to. Toss. Top with shredded parmesan cheese. Cover and cool another hour.

Not exactly my idea of tasty or culinary abilities. She says she would love to open her own catering business. This is coming from the woman who made banana pudding with no bananas. I know this rant sounds completely selfish and jealousy-induced (and could be) but here's the thing: She was an organizer of a play group in San Diego before she moved here, and from day one has injected herself head long into our group as an authority type figure. Then I hear that she was offered a position as assistant organizer of the group by the head organizer. And then I found out that the organizer has been talking with her about group activities, etc. that hasn't even come into my radar screen. I'm feeling a bit pushed out of the way. I mean, I guess I'm just not cool enough. Have I ever mentioned that I think mommy groups are too much like high school? You're hott one minute and cold the next. All cliquish and such. On top of it, she posts messages on our group message board with profanity in it. I mean, I have a sailor's mouth sometimes, but never on the mommy message board! That's a great way to give our group a good name. She also does things like post messages about getting her eyebrows waxed and getting such a freakin' deal on a hair cut for OMG, wait for it! The ultra low price of $85! And she was raving about what a deal it was to me today and I said "I don't dye my hair" and she gave me this "poor girl" look. OH and one more thing. She posted a short novella about why she "won't be around much this week" because her mother passed away in December from a brain aneurysm and blah blah blah. Not to be insensitive, but is she just wanting sympathy? If you've been a member of our group for oh, say 5 seconds, we probably don't wish to read about your own personal soap opera.

Okay I'm done with that rant. It was baseless and not interesting, but I do want to show the cattiness that is Mommy group 101.
On another note, why is it that people say the worst things with the best of intentions? I met a friend at the mall today early so that we could indulge in a Starbucks Americano (drip for her) and walk for a while pre-play date. I recently learned that she intends to have four children. Currently she has a boy who is nearly three and a girl who is about to be a year old in a few days. I was asking, casually, when she planned to try for the next. Casually, she slipped right into the subject of my recent miscarriage. Fine and dandy, but then starts complaining about how exhausting two (children) are. She looks at me and says "You know no one wishes for miscarriages, but maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Now you get to spend so much more one on one time with Adrien..." I know she meant it in the best possible way, but really. It was not was I wanted to hear. (People seem to be giving me all sorts of unwarranted tidbits lately)

Then, in another instance, I had decided to go to the food court for lunch early today. I wasn't feeling well and apparently the mall stopped believing in the AC. I was so hot from chasing Adrien around, etc. that I just needed to sit down and eat. Anyway, another girl decided to join me (shortly followed by the entire group). We were sitting and chatting and she mentioned how hot it was in the mall. I explained that was why I'd came up to eat so soon in the first place. She then went on to start complaining about how packed the play area was and how she was about to have a panic attack because her 7 month old was crawling around everywhere. She has MS and was apparently overwhelmed by his new-found mobility. I completely sympathized. Then, in the rules of conversation, I replied to her remarks with a short complaint about the heat and how Adrien wanted to run for the exit to the play area every 5 seconds and how he really did not want to sit in his stroller. She looks at me and half annoyed sounding says "I mean, you could have it worse. You
could have it worse." I could. She's right. I could live in Africa and have to rummage through garbage and river water for a meal...I could have it worse. But I wasn't making mountains out of my sorrows and mole hills of her's. I was just engaging in every day conversation. Her comment struck me as odd and hit me quite hard. I'm not sure if it was hormones playing a roll or what, but I had to hold back my tears and frustration for her at that moment. I'm not sure what she meant (exactly) by her remark...and I'm not sure I want to know. I'm not sure if she meant that I don't have MS and therefore don't have it bad...or what. Anyway, again with the unwarranted tidbits. Rubbish.

And just think, I'd be free of all this drama if it weren't for my Mommy group. I do, however, need the social networking it provides and enjoy my adult interaction. Of course there is that bit about Adrien getting socialized...but let's be realistic. How many moms join solely for that purpose?

In other news, I've decided to attend a Mary Kay meeting tonight. I haven't sold it in quite a while, but am still considered a consultant. With the recent events I've been feeling pretty down on myself and I really want something to focus on. Why not be able to make a little money while doing it? Also, while I don't support the war, I do support the troops and the Mary Kay consultants in my area are doing
Operation Sunscreen where a client can buy a sunscreen set and we'll donate one to the troops free on their behalf for every sunscreen set sold. (Or the client can choose to donate both sets) That means we make zero profit, but it's fine by me. They need that sunscreen in all the heat and sun in Iraq and Afghanistan. And yes, I used to sell Mary Kay. I had to have something to convince my husband that I was capable of staying home. Then I just sort of fell off of it and my Mom started driving me insane because she'd signed up to do it too and that was her new found passion. May as well give it a try again, what do I have to loose? And hey, it'll keep me occupied.

So, in other words, I'm ticked about the new mommy on the block, I hate it when people say dumb things, I severely dislike it when people seem to think my complaints are unwarranted because their problems are
bigger, and I'm selling out to the pink lipstick peddlers again. God, I feel cheap.


Kelly said...

Wow, that is ridiculous. I am sorry she has MS. That sucks. But just because others don't have that doesn't mean they don't have other issues and/or complaints. Whatever.
I have learned my lesson and stay far FAR away from Mommy groups. Don't get me wrong..I so need the adult interaction, but in my experiences anyway..it was always silly because it was EXACTLY like highschool all over again. There is always the 'popular' ones..the 'rich' ones the 'weird hippy' ones (I fell under that catagory many times). Oh well.
Your apple pie would so kick that dumb tortellini's recipes ass...
I will buy some Mary Kay from you..I want some Satin Hands..that stuff rocks