Thursday, November 20, 2008

I am what I think I am

God called me lazy today.

For the last while, and especially this week, I've been moping around feeling pretty sorry for myself. I haven't been getting dressed. I haven't been cleaning. I've been flat out sour.

Today I had a meeting with the local MOPS group I've joined. It was Christmas craft day and my day was brightened even more because my Mother in law was taking care of my two year old. I was left with only one child in-tow and I'd gotten his feeding schedule just-so this morning as to not disturb my 10am to noon crafting session. I was going to drop my baby off in the nursery at church, go my meeting, drink coffee and act like the refreshed mother I'm not. But it was going to be wonderful.

And it was.

Until I was Convicted.

The devotional this morning was on Proverbs 31:10-31.

10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Okay, God. I hear You loud and clear. I'm getting dressed tomorrow. I did the dishes this afternoon.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Letting the dog from the leash

The kitchen is full of dishes. Some left from Sunday's party, some from other times. Until earlier today, the dining room table still held three dirty plates from dinner last being my husband's over half full of old spaghetti. I'd upset him too much to eat, I guess. I was having another mid-week meltdown and giving him the what-for about my isolated life as a full time Mom.

I haven't gotten dressed all week, save for on Monday when we attempted to have a great day at the zoo. We had a day there, anyway. Today I sat on my bed on pins and needles as Adrien slept in the living room and Jude lay on my bed napping. The last shower I had was Saturday morning before a friend's baby shower. Still, it was nap time and I'd chosen first and foremost to dig into a book that had come for me in today's mail. Dishes and hygiene be damned, because this book was about finding yourself in the depths of motherhood.

Not even one chapter in and a dog started to yip outside my bedroom window. Banging from above. The trophy wife of the doctor who lives above me is home and she'd put her dandy little doggie out to doodie. I can still hear her high heels clicking around on the hardwood floor. She's so privileged...and she can't even drag her high heeled self out to walk her dog? I felt like walking right up to her door, pounding on it and giving her the run around about her dog waking my child up during precious, precious nap time.

But how would I look to this pampered picture of perfection? So instead, I picked up the crying baby and came to the computer to write this.