Spun

isn't it amazing that i took my medicine 14 hours ago and i'm still feeling the effects of it as we speak. at least that's what i think i'm feeling. i conked out at some point last night while watching something about caribou migration on discovery or some such channel. i woke up at 4am and i, myself, migrated -- to the bedroom. i woke up suddenly at 9:25am this morning, only to realize i was supposed to be at erika's house at 10am for a "minniest member play date" for pre/early walkers in the group. it was only three of my closer friends going, so i asked if it'd be alright to attend sans adrien for some social time. they welcomed me with open arms. and for once, i got to actually socialize and drink coffee while remaining seated the entire time. (as opposed to having to chase adrien around the entire time).

so at 9:25am i started to try to shake off the fog of xanax. i realized andi had my wallet in his car (at work with him) so there would be no stopping for coffee along the way to erika's. and i did not have time to brew any at my house. i'm sure i shouldn't have been driving at that point, but i got from point A to point B and back again just fine. so here i am, still feeling the effects. my heart is a little racy as well. i assume it's from the two cups of coffee and two dr. peppers i enjoyed earlier. possibly. maybe it's the mix of caffeine and downers. in any event, the room's a bit spinny, and i am probably spun myself. i'm drinking orange juice for the sugar and hoping that might help the situation out a bit.

my mom is in town for the huge mary kay convention that is going on, and as such has an awards dinner at a steak house to attend tonight. she desperately wants me to attend. she's supposed to be receiving an award or something. she wants me to see. i hope i can make it there alright. it's nearly 4pm and i am in need of a shower and hair straightening before i can go to some steak house. i would much rather lounge around here at the house in my anxiety medicine-induced fog...but i have to get slightly gussied up and make myself seem happy for all of these overly perky make-up peddling women.

andi got a job offer from the insurance company on friday. he said he would let them know on his decision by today. he's attempting to get a counter offer (of equal or higher) value from his current company so there's no lapse in benefits. his company has not yet let him know their decision. it's making me extremely nervous because what is going to happen if they let him know too late and then the insurance company with the offer becomes a null and void option? i really do hope they let him know soon. i'm itching to know what's going to happen and i don't want him to lose out on the extra salary he's being offered at the other company just because the place he currently works for is sitting around with their thumbs up their ass waiting to deny him. corporate assholes, i tell you.

i really do miss adrien. what did i do without kids before? the freedom is great, i mean it's wonderful. but andi and i sat around for what must have been nearly an hour yesterday trying to figure out what to do. we were literally playing with one of those little rubber bouncy balls contemplating all the things we can never do when we have adrien. that led us to leave to drive around and we ended up at IHOP for coffee and food. it was one we used to go to when we were in college.

and my OB just called. apparently pathology found no signs of pregnancy in the tissue they removed via the D&C. my doctor things they missed it or something and either i must have passed it prior to the D&C or it's still in there. he says the likelihood of it still being in there would be slim to none considering the method he uses (in his terms). so i have to go in tomorrow so he can take a look. i personally think i passed it before the procedure. while i was getting my ultrasound done, i went to the bathroom and passed quite a bit of something. the ultrasound tech said it was just a clot -- it felt like more. so i dunno. the saga continues. why does this have to be so drawn out? seriously.