Baby brain

Okay, so I admit it -- my memory sucks; occasionally. Okay, a lot. I have baby brain...or at least that's what I blame it on. But Adrien's been sleeping through the night now for quite a few months. So can I honestly still use that as an excuse. Of course I can!

This morning around 10:15ish I decided it was high time to make my way to the store for baby wipes. I had -- amazingly enough -- made it through the morning without Adrien pooping. That was a good thing since we were out of wipes. I had them all rationed out until pay day -- 3 wipes for one poop per day, and we'd use wash cloths and lots of powder otherwise for any wets that may occur. My 3 wipe a day rationing system was completely debunked when he pooped three times yesterday. Three times. Must be all the beans; we've eaten them at nearly every meal (save breakfast) since I cooked them the other day. Waste not, want not. So, needless to say, at 10am after breakfast and snack time were both settled, I bolted at my moment to make it to the store and back before his bowel movement came and I was forced to use wet paper towels.

Wet paper towels chafe.

I plunked Adrien and Monkey in the car seat, got my keys, pulled my sunglasses down, backed up; and here came Aunt Shirley. She haphazardly waved me down as I was backing out of my garage and had sort of a puzzled look on her face. I had a puzzled look on my face too, I'm sure. My memory jolted back to my conversation with her a few days ago ("So is 10:30 Friday okay?") and I looked at the clock -- 10:16. I rolled down the window, smiled, and said, "Ohmigoodness! I thought I could go to the store and get back before you got here. Look at you, you're early!" So I told her to jump in. We were, after all, racing against the bowels of a 16 month old.

The truth? I'd forgotten about Aunt Shirley. The horror.

Aunt Shirley is not an aunt at all...rather Andi's second cousin, I believe. But the day went on as planned, and Shirley even joined Adrien and I for lunch with Andi and two of his co-workers at Fuddrucker's. Adrien still hasn't pooped.

I can't believe I forgot. Oh yes I can -- I've got baby brain, remember?

And so there's not much else going on. Andi gets off early today, and it is a three day weekend. Then we get vacation the week after next (I can't wait!). I've got some great ideas for my new blog. I think I'll jump start it with some good ol' fashioned camp-fire cuisine. Maybe with some survival food thrown in (New Survivorman tonight!). Since we're heading out to Arkansas for vacation soon, I figure I can safely go that route. It'll give me ample time for research and then I can emerge from the wilderness with pictures and tales of campfire creations galore. Yum, yum. I can hardly wait! I really do need to secure my URL for it. Something good. Something hearty.

I will update with the link to the site. [Now updated] Visit The Curious Culinarian.

Currently accepting applications for co-contributors! Email me and let me know! Bryanyd@hotmail.com

Meet Monkey

Ohmigoodness! Who would have thought that spinning in circles could be so entertaining? I've just taught Adrien to play Ring Around the Rosie. And although he doesn't quite grasp the concept of "we all fall down," He's got the ringing down perfectly. Besides, after he plays for long enough he falls down anyway. I taught him to play it with Monkey.

Have I not introduced Monkey yet? Well, how rude of me. Monkey is a stuffed animal (Ty) with silky soft fur. A friend of mine gave it to me in high school. I have no use for it, and subsequently found it stashed away in a close a few weeks ago. I thought Adrien would get more use out of it than me. Monkey was lying on the floor in Adrien's play room (with every other toy he owns). About a week ago, Adrien stumbled off into his play room alone...only to return about 10 minutes later clutching Monkey. He must have carried Monkey around for about 30 minutes or so, all the while stroking his head. He hasn't let go for long since. Adrien tries to feed Monkey and becomes quite upset when he pushes the Cheerio into Monkey's mouth only to have it fall to the ground. Many a night have been spent trying to get Adrien to calm down after he gets frustrated that Monkey cannot take (or hold) his binky.

So today, it was only fitting that after I'd tired from spinning round and round I wanted to include Monkey in the fun. I did it once to show Adrien, and from there on, Adrien went to spinning round and round, Monkey's two little paws in Adrien's. He just giggles up a storm...shrieking with delight.

I hope Monkey doesn't get motion sickness.

Hmmm, anyhow -- after Adrien and I went for a stroll through the neighborhood this morning (with Monkey, of course) we came in and I made pinto and cheese quesadillas from some of the leftover beans. They were so good! Adrien really enjoyed the little bowl of sour cream I gave him to dip the quesadillas in...in fact, I'm betting that it was his favorite part. He's one of those "dip and suck" kids. He uses the food as a mere vessel for whatever condiment I've got in front of him. Oddly enough, I think his favorite vessel/condiment pair up is green beans and ketchup. Ugh. Only a kid, I know.

Speaking of beans, dinner turned out great. I wish I could have made the beans a bit more spicy, but I always make things more bland nowadays because I don't want to burn Adrien's little palette. He really loves spicy food though -- I should be more adventurous with him. But [lack of] spiciness aside, dinner was awesome! I made some fry bread and some corn bread. I realized just after I'd plopped the batter into the muffin pan, that I'd forgotten to mix any sugar in to the corn bread batter. It was still good, although not quite as sweet as usual. The fry bread was decent, but it was different than my Mom's. Due to time constraints and lack of ingredients (according the Navajo recipe, you need powdered milk?) I made the Chickasaw version. It was tasty, but the texture was a bit off of what I'm used to. Want some quick fry bread? Most times my Mom buys frozen yeast rolls, thaws them and let's them rest before shaping and frying. I topped my bowl of beans off with some Woody's Smokehouse Five Amigos Fire Roasted Pepper Salsa. So good. My camera batteries need charging and I can't find the charger, so as soon as I do, I'll try to set up a picture [Which you can see I've taken care of].


Speaking of food, I had an idea for a blog...yes another. Since I'm food-obsessed, and really into the obscure histories of various artifacts, I was thinking earlier about a blog dedicated to showcasing different types of foods and its respective origin and history. For instance, I would showcase Southwestern and Native American foods for a few weeks. I would (to the joy of my husband, I'm sure) cook those respective foods and endeavor into new culinary territory, all the while blogging my way through it. Each dish would have some back ground info and of course, a great recipe -- with my own personal touch, of course. It would also be great to have some fellow contributors, so if you're interested, please let me know.

So I guess I'm off to make some coffee. I really do need to clean the kitchen -- yet again -- but I don't feel like it. I hope the next two and half hours fly by -- then Andi can get off work and come home.

Tah!

Meager Meals

So I'm feeling slightly better today...sans enormous headache [insert minor one]. Thanks to everyone for your nice commenting. I know I really should see a doctor, but it's such a hassle and I've already got so many bills. I would go to see my internist, but (however great of a doc she may be) she intimidates me. I feel like she ridicules everything I say -- but for the best. I mean, she's just one of those people with a strong presence...and I tend to cower in that presence. As for my OB, well we know the story with him. He's a great doctor as well, but he's overworked...so I'm sure my suspicion of some rare illness is nothing he feels like investigating. I'm tempted to go to Adrien's doctor. She's an osteopathic family doctor, and we think on the same wavelength. She prefers homeopathy to prescriptions any day and highly recommends not immunizing. She will, however, write prescriptions when it is warranted. I would like to report that since seeing her (starting when Adrien was 9 months old) he's only had one ear infection that cleared up without antibiotics...of course that's not counting the ear infection that prompted me to switch from his original pediatrician in the first place (long story). Prior to seeing her, he'd had 6 ear infections in his short little life. Anyway, I would LOVE to switch to her, however I hate the whole process of going to a new doctor. And even though I'm familiar with her (and I'm sure she'd remember me because of Adrien), I hate the whole filling out medical history, blah blah blah part. I hate it.

Oh yum, we're having pinto beans and corn bread for dinner tonight. I can't wait. I've just started the beans soaking. I love this meal. Meager meals make me happy. A few months back (maybe 2 months) when we visited Andi's Mom, she cooked up some beans she'd purchased from a road-side stand. They were fresh and wonderful. She made corn bread and we feasted on cucumbers in vinegar, fried green tomatoes, and toasted squash. It was amazing. I love those little pulled together meals. Maybe I will make fry bread...I love it. My Mom grew up in the Southwest, so we always had {Navajo} fry bread with beans. I have no vinegar at the moment, or I'd make some pickled onions. But I'll probably just stick to sweet corn bread because my husband loves it...but maybe I will sneak in some fry bread for me. My Mom always made the bread with yeast though. It lends it a slightly chewier consistency. But ya, I find those little meals just dreamy. It always makes me feel as if I'm living on a farm somewhere and just surviving off the land.

Speaking of surviving -- I've become addicted to Survivorman (thanks, Kelly!). Really, I think it's awesome. Some of the situations he comes out of are just crazy! And I know it's a controlled crazy (he's got a back-up rescue team), but it's still astounding nonetheless.

And randomly, the two phrases typed into search engines that bring the most traffic to my blog are:

"red dots on top of mouth and throat"
and, get this:
"allergic to curly fries"

The first one, I get. I have a whole blog about my rash/mouth sore incident. But allergic to curly fries? That one cracks me up. My husband put me on Google Analytics so I can see who/what/where is viewing my blog. I see you, Kansas. Speak up! Leave a comment, dude.

In other blogging gaga, I stumbled upon this blog. Would You Please Date My Friend is a strange, but funny (although possibly offensive to uber-femmes) chronicle at a dating experiment. Seriously, It's like a soap opera/blind date show for the bloghopper. So enjoy!

Other than that, I don't know if I have much to blog about. Boring, I know...but so goes life. Oh -- one last thing. I was thinking earlier, and I believe I had an epiphany of sorts. I don't believe I've done anything to grow further as a person or spiritually in the couple of years. I really don't. That's sort of sad.

Hypochondriac V.1.2 beta

I'm absolutely sure I'm imagining all of this.

I'm absolutely sure I'm sick -- in one way or another.

I'm absolutely sure that I feel like I'm dying right now (of course, those wackos could argue that we've been dying since we were born)...

However, I am absolutely sure that I am merely being a hypochondriac. Or am I?

I constantly feel sick. I constantly have horrible fatigue. No matter how much I sleep, I always need more. My head feels like it's going to explode. My stomach is always upset. I'll go a few weeks feeling decent; I'll go a few weeks feeling like crap. It's a vicious cycle. I feel like my body is so polluted from everything -- the food I eat, the things I drink, all the caffeine I ingest.

My muscles feel like rocks; my head like a grenade with the pin pulled -- waiting to explode. My vision got all blurry for a little while off and on at the play date today. I think my body is trying to tell me something.

Remember a while back when I had the rash/mouth sore outbreak? That was just before I found out I was miscarrying...actually it was probably the event that triggered it. I looked up my symptoms (current and recurring) online and all signs pointed to lupus (possibly). My grandmother's (maternally) sister's daughter had it, so I know that it's a possibility that it's inherited. But when I asked my OB about testing for it (maybe as a possible cause of the miscarriage), he passed it off as "hard to diagnose with tests" (which it is, but) and not likely; what he really meant was that I'm loony or that he doesn't have time or energy to put into it. And I most likely do sound loony.

But something is wrong. I just know it. I hate going to the doctors because I feel like they're always questioning you anyway -- are these real symptoms or imagined?

So for now, I've almost developed a phobia of putting anything into or onto my body. I feel as if that will only further pollute me. I tried to eat earlier -- it's not working. Nothing tastes good. Nothing sounds good.

Nothing is good.

The next Jane Goodall

Am I callous? According to a recent rash of comments, quite possibly. But if you're my friend, chances are that's why you love me so. I would not be me if it weren't for my dry sense of humor and quick wit. My tongue can be sharp sometimes, as well...however I call it as I see it.

Remember Mommy Group 101? If not, let's review.

Now then...It has been brought to my attention that this person I was speaking of previously really is trying to take over things. There was a brief moment in time when I thought -- oh gee, maybe I'm wrong -- but now it's been made blatant that I was not. Maybe it's my astounding clairvoyant abilities, or maybe it's just my pessimistic attitude seeking out the worst in people. Either way, I was correct in my presumption that this person would want to be center of all things play-group oriented.

Quick to offer help in any situation, this specific person is starting to drive the organizer and me a bit batty. Her help is now starting to come off as a passive-aggressive path to power in our play group. She constantly compares the organizer and me to her previous play group in San Diego. She is constantly suggesting things that might make our job a little easier.

The straw that breaks the camel's back -- or so I hear -- was the pot luck play date today. I did not attend, however I do hear that she made quite the spectacle of herself by ensuring everyone knew she was the first there (to help the hostess set up, of course) and that she was the one helping to pick up. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back...but then there's the icing on the cake. The perpetual icing is a tiny event that may not stand out in anyone else's mind -- but it is etched into my temporal lobe permanently. We have children's birthdays posted on our group's calendar. The other day was a child's birthday -- a child that (to my recollection) I have never met. That means that the birthday was posted a while back, but the mother has since become inactive in the group...we just never erased the birthday from the message board. In any case, the power hungry mommy I'm blogging about posted a "Happy Birthday E----!" with a little Pooh E-Card. I mean, great gesture...but really (in mommy group speak) this is saying to everyone that the organizers are not thoughtful enough to do it, so she is doing it.

Do you see where this is going?

Mommy groups have a language of their own. If one mom suggests an idea to the organizer, what they're really saying is , "It's cute that you're trying, but this is the correct way." It's like a warning to us that they do not approve of (nor appreciate) the job we're doing. Now when a mommy starts to spam the organizers via email with "ideas", that's when (as an organizer) you have to start to worry. Whereas one suggestion may be a friendly warning, multiple suggestions may be a passive aggressive attempt to set up a play-group overthrow. What you may have brewing is a coup d'etat.

Just like the last Russian Czars and Czarinas, you do not want to find yourself being taken out to a field, executed, and buried by your Mommy group members. Not to mention all the care the Bolsheviks did to get rid of the bodies via acid and bone grinding. NO! As an organizer you do not want this to happen.

So what does an organizer of a volatile mommy group do in this situation? Do you just ignore the pathetic attempts of someone with too much time to pass? Do you ignore it? Do you confront the situation head on? Well, the last person who tried to dethrone our mighty play group figure-head was booted out so quickly she didn't know what hit her -- literally. She still doesn't understand why she was kicked out. Sad, really. And in the end, it's all working itself out. She wanted power -- she got; she started her own play group. Now she can have all the power she wants.

So what's the point of this melodramatic post? To show the intricacies of the relationship between Mother and Mother; Organizer and Mommy group member. Really -- It's got to be the worst thing since women first started to meet in social circles. Mommy groups are a perfect microcosm for political modeling. It goes in tides, and just as it is said that all great things must come to an end, I wonder what the eventual end of our group will be? Will it be like the fall of Rome? Or will it be more like Russia and the last Czars and Czarinas? Will it be more of a gradual disintegration or violent take over?

Who knows -- who cares?

If nothing else, being a part of this group has definitely given me a chance to do some real study in human behavior. I feel like Jane Goodall at times -- watching the chimps and how they act. Becoming a fixture in their world in order to study behavior; only to be accused of becoming too emotionally attached later.

Maybe I will be the one who cares after all.

Salutations

Hello, Ralph.

Welcome to my blog.

I'm glad you created a piece of artwork that resembles my tum.

Everyone look! It's awesome ceramics and textiles.

I took textile classes in college (a whole shit load) and wasn't interested enough to make my own. I can barely knit one, perl two...let alone have an entire collection of textiles. So, here's to you, no profile Ralph! Ode to textiles.

Nothing Exciting

Nothing really exciting going on here. I haven't done much the past few days. There was a "family night" that turned out to be "two family night" yesterday evening. We had originally planned to go Joe's Crabshack, since they were supposedly offering 99 cent kid's meals on Tuesday nights. Also, their playground is great and it's a fun atmosphere. Anyway, the organizer called to see if we'd need a reservation for -- what was supposed to be -- approximately 24 adults plus at least 12 kids. She also asked about the 99 cent meals. Guess what? They are no more. They stopped them in July but informed no one, apparently. When asked what the manager could do to accomodate us since we had such a large group expecting the 99 cent meals, he replied with a "What do you want me to do?" attitude. Needless to say, since the guy was such an ass, we decided to change our plans rather last minute. Well, 3 hours before the event. That should be enough time, right? An email was even sent out. We figured Chik-Fil-A would be the next best thing because they actually have free kid's meals on Tuesday nights plus a craft and play area. Three hours later, the event had dropped to only a few "yes" RSVPs, and only two of us showed up -- the organizer and I. Well, someone else went, but they did so blindly without checking the site first...or their email. She had gone to Joe's anyway and reserved a table for 20 people..and sat there...and sat there...and finally ate...and left. Then she returned home and posted a thread on our playgroup's message board entitled "So Joe Blows" or some such nonsense. She said something about not realizing she needed to check the board 20 minutes before leaving for last minute changes. Well, guess what, we're sorry! We really tried to do what was best for our group. I guess you can not make everyone happy. I understand her frustration...but really. Don't inform the entire group that we suck at organizing and ruined your evening. Tell us that directly -- please?

Speaking of understanding other's unhappiness, I think I may have rained on my husband's parade this morning...when I said I didn't feel like having sex with him. I mean, he really had a sad look on his face haha. I'm sorry, honey, but you can't expect to wake me up from a dead sleep and expect me to wanna go right at it when I haven't had any coffee...not to mention the fact that I know it's going to be a quickie because you're actually supposed to be leaving for work in ten minutes! I know that the frumpy night shirt I'm wearing may not bother you, but it really does nothing for me...and neither do either of our morning breaths. So, yes, sweetie -- I know you like morning sex...but start the touchy-feely in the p.m. and you might get better results. I understand your pain, I really do; Understand my need for caffeine and lingerie.

Adrien and I have been playing outside in the back yard quite a bit the last few days. He plays with the water hose, stomps through his baby pool, and eats dirt while I sunbathe.

I wonder if that small, low-flying plane overhead can tell that I'm topless...

Andi and I are trying to get together our plans for his upcoming vacation. I think we've decided on heading out do some camping in Arkansas. I can't wait. We've never gone camping together before. We're planning on doing some hiking, kayaking, site-seeing, and general touristy things. I can't wait to get to cook over the camp fire. I'm already planning out my campfire cuisine. Yum.

Making bitchy headlines of the year is -- drumroll! -- my sister in law; AGAIN! Imagine that. She changed her myspace name from "I'M PREGNANT" to "Pray for a healthy baby!" What a bimbo. She is either, 1) dumb enough not to realize this might bother my husband and I, or 2) she realizes it and doesn't care, or 3) She did it just to rub it in my face that she's having a healthy child and can shoot kids out of her vagina like popcorn from a movie theater. I dunno, in any event, Andi finally allowed me to message her and ask to her to please change her name. I think I was nice enough in the message. I even said please. I'm about 5 seconds from hitting "delete from friends" because I see that she's logged on today -- she even went as far as to send out a few of those stupid chain bulletins -- but her name remains the same...and she didn't even reply to me to inform me she would be keeping her thoughtless display name.

Well I'm off to forage for some food in my barren kitchen. Then maybe some solo sunbathing. Cha Cha Cha.

Tattoos and eyeliner

Mom's night out went well. It was tons of fun...and although I didn't partake in the dancing, I did have fun. The original club we'd decided to go to was closed even though their website clearly said they would be open. It read:

Thursday:
One Dollar Wells
9pm-11pm
Open 9pm - 2am

What a rip, dude. So we went on over to the The Beagle -- the last bar we went to on MNO. The DJ sucked more ass than a colonic. Last time we went, the DJ was decent. This bar never has very many patrons inside, but the ones that do show up are definitely too cool to do any dancing. Our little group (sans me) was out their shakin' their groove thing. But like I said, the DJ was all over the place...slipping from Prince into a non-danceable Incubus song. What gives? And when asked to play some 80's music, he played some sort of early 90s hip hop. Lame. But it was fun nonetheless. I would also have to add that the shot I took was weak...it was like shootin' cranberry juice. Here's me, chillin' on the side:
On the way to Zephyr's (our original destination) a friend had heard from her brother about free parking. As we made our way to the supposed free parking area, an attendant said it was in fact $5 to park there...however there was another lot across the way we could try -- and it was closer to Zephyr's anyway. We got to the lot just in time for some ass with a pomp to be completely rude to us and inform us that we could park there only if we'd come inside and buy dollar drinks from them. He was truly a raving idiot. As we stood in the parking lot and discussed what to do next, pomp ass got into his ultra cool mini-van and changed from khaki shorts into pants. Meanwhile, he calls up someone and starts to inform them of the 11 "chicks" in his parking lot that will not go into his bar. He was spouting off some other rude-ass crap too. Somewhere in between, some tattooed up tramp with a pathetic arm tattoo came up to him and started to hang all over him and pout. In the background, however, some truck full of frat punks parked behind us, got out of their vehicle, and proceeded to walk to another club...did they get shit for parking there? No. We parked somewhere else and the night went on. A strange event occurred on the way out of pomp's parking lot, though. He lifted his shirt and flashed us his beer belly and man-boobs. I'm not sure what that was all about. Did he really think we'd want to give his club business after the way he acted toward us? Pompous is what he was. We proceeded to The Beagle where the observant stoner who carded me realized I was the tallest in the group. He later came over to us and told me, and I quote, "You should go dance...You're the tallest..." Not sure what height has to do with dancing...

Speaking of tattooed up tramps, My husband bought a one month subscription to Suicide Girls this weekend. For some reason, it doesn't bother me for him to look at those girls. I really could care less. I just hate it when he looks at other porn. He does feel free enough to look at it on his lap top while I'm on our desktop computer right beside him. Fine with me. I could care less. I like to see how weird some of the girls on there are. It makes me sad though -- I used to look like that. Cellulite and stretch marks have covered all the places I could get tattoos and piercings...and my former flat tummy has been replaced with something resembling this. *Sigh* I'm sort of glad I ended up where I am today...I was headed straight for fetish modeling in my former life. I sort of wish I had the money from it though haha. And at least I would have pictures to look at and remember my hott Bettie Page days. Oh well, que sera, sera.

Muh poom

I've been sooo slackin' from my blog. It's pathetic. Genuinely, I just haven't felt like doing anything. Aunt Flow has come to visit and is wearin' me the crap out. I mean, I go to sleep drained, I wake up even more drained. I took a 2 hour nap yesterday while Adrien was asleep, and I think it had zero effect. I felt just as shitty when I woke up as I did when I layed down. It was nice to sleep though.

I had a mom from the play group come over today. It was great. She has twin boys that are 18 months old, so Adrien actually had someone his own size to play with...yes he's as big as they are! LOL I went to a 2 year old's birthday party not too long ago and he was about the same size as the two year old. He's humongous. Anyway, Adrien and the other two boys had the best time. They all seemed to understand each other's babble and they had this weird sippy cup exchange going. Adrien like their sippies, and they (well one of the twins in particular) LOVED Adrien's take 'n toss. I may have to invest in some of the cups like theirs -- the playtex ones with undersea scenes, etc. Anyway, it was nice to see Adrien play with other kids. At the play dates he's always in a weird in between age group. He's too old to even play with babies a few months younger than he is (for example, he's much more advanced that the 12 month olds), yet he's not big enough to play with the 2 and 3 year olds (although he thinks he's about 2 or 3 anyway). So it was just really great to see him get some social time. It was also great for me to get some social time.

We're having Mom's Night Out tonight and apparently we're going to Blue Goose Cantina for snacks beforehand, and then hitting the club at Zephyr's Patio Lounge. I'm not much for clubbin' but it will be nice to get out. Carmen (the girl who came over earlier) and I are riding together. She said she'll buy me a drink since I'm driving haha! Awesome. Hopefully I'll have fun. I do, however, need some energy first. There's no way I'll be able to be the life of the party if I go out feeling like this tonight! I also need to get my outfit together. My friend Amber (loyal reader of my blog, btw) has made it a rule to have themed dress nights for mom's night outs. Tonight the theme is black and white. I have to get my super hott outfit together haha. I don't wanna be frumpalicious, I wanna be bootylicious!

Anywho...While Adrien was playing with the boys this morning he ran towards the TV for some reason and tripped just before he got to it. He went mouth first into the TV stand. He had blood dripping all down his face. It was running down his arms. He really didn't cry as much as I would have even. He's my little tough guy. A cold rag with a piece of ice and a binky was all it took to get him happy again. He has perfect teeth marks in his bottom lip. Poor little dude. He also needed a little poom time afterward. If you didn't know, which I'm sure you didn't, Adrien has something he affectionately refers to as muh poom. Muh poom simply means "my poom" and by poom he means pillow. It's his lovey. And I have no idea where he got the word "poom" from. Actually, when he says it, it comes out "pehm" but we call it poom. I think it's incredibly cute. He doesn't really have a specific poom, although there are two he favors, it's just pretty much any pillow he comes across. I am sure he will be one of those people with a bed piled high with those fancy pillows when he's older. I think he'd be in heaven if he had a room with just pooms. It could be muh poom room. He would l-o-v-e it I'm sure.

So anyway, I need to go get my outfit together...Then maybe I'll conk out on the couch again.

Did I mention that I love my french press? I'm not sure how much good the caffeine's doing me though. I still have that eyes as dry sponges feeling.

Detox

I need a nap, but what's the point? I turned on the TV and there's nothing worthy of falling asleep too. In any event, by the time I fell asleep, I'd be even more exhausted when I was forced to get up with Adrien. Coffee, I hear ya' callin'...

We went to the mall today. It was fun, as usual. However, the food court was hot as hell. I saw my friend Amber - HEY! - for the first time in for-freakin-ever. That was cool. We just walked around the mall for a while. She was shopping for an outfit for our upcoming mom's night out. I was just window shopping haha!

I've got a ton of "work" to do today for my Mary Kay business, but can't seem to make myself do any of it. I'm supposed to sell $50 today (it's part of a "challenge" I'm participating in) but I don't see how that's going to happen! I'm also supposed to come up with an affirmation to say to myself, in order to boost my confidence. I definitely need a boost in confidence. I just wish I could find it in me (or just find the energy, rather) to get up an hour or two before Adrien so that I had time to clear my head and drink coffee in the morning. I would (in theory) find time to do a little meditation (not the ooooom type) of the quiet time sort. Yoga would be nice -- but let's get real.

Let's *really get real: I won't find the energy.

I really need to detox. I feel like my body is full of pollutants, preservatives; crap in general. I wish I could find a good detox diet that doesn't make you survive on fish broth and cabbage for months on end. Anyone know of any?

I wish I were rich: I'd head out to one of those fancy new fangled mountain resorts and rid my body of evil commercially produced free-radicals.

All of this, and yet I still sit here drinking coffee. Caffeine must be evil...but it's so amazing! Haha.

Once again, this is all I can post.

Enjoy my love muffin recipe! I made them for a pot luck yesterday. I think they taste great. I hope you do too!

Love Muffins

Love Muffin Recipe
By: Me
For: My future cookbook

1/2 C Milk
1 egg, beaten
1/4 C Sour Cream
1/4 C Oil
1/2 C Sugar
1 1/2 C Self-rising flour (whole grain, or otherwise)
1 Banana, ripe (or other firm, ripe fruit such as pear or peach)
4 TBS. Jam or preserves (any flavor, I used strawberry)

Glaze (Optional):
3 TBS. Additional Jam or preserves (any flavor)
3 tsp. Powdered sugar (optional)
1/2 TBS. butter

Preheat oven to 400.

Grease muffin pan*.

Blend together milk, egg and oil. Slowly blend in sour cream. Mash in the banana to desired consistency. Blend in jam.

In a separate bowl, blend together sugar and self-rising flour. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix. The batter should be slightly lumpy. Do not over mix.

Pour into greased muffin pan, each muffin slot should be half full. Bake at 400 for 20-30 minutes, or until done.

*You can use a loaf pan in lieu of the muffin tins.

In a small microwave safe dish, combine jam for glaze with butter. Heat in microwave on high for approximately 35 seconds, or until butter is melted. Stir in powdered sugar. Brush over the top of freshly baked muffins or loaf.

Too exhausted...

Oh gosh. I'm too exhausted for a real post. I took Adrien to a "Splish splash Pot luck" today. I stayed up way too late last night chatting online with friends and then on top of it Adrien woke up at 6:45am. I was so banking on him sleeping until at least 8am.

At least I've got comfort in pajamas, my french press, and my eye gel. Do you ever get soooo tired that you feel like your eyes are dry sponges and they're about to pop out of your head? That's how I feel.

And Now Adrien's awake.

Breathe in, Breathe out...Oh good, daddy gets off in 30 more minutes.

Glee Club

You know, I've said before how much mommy groups are like high school. Too bad, they're not exactly like high school. Otherwise you really could just kick someone out you don't care to associate with any more. I guess you could...but there is political correctness to be had. You have to curtail your own desires, put on a smile, and nosh with the best (or worst, that is). Instead of full fledged high school, Mommy groups are more like the glee club: You may not like the person singing next to you, but you sure as hell as have to put on your smile and by golly, the show must go on!

I am an assistant organizer. So does that make me like an assistant principal?

If that's true, then maybe my mommy group is more like high school for me, after all. All I have to do is have a little chat with the principal, and we can remove that one naughty student.

Freedom of Speech

[Blog now public again. I refuse to hide from imbeciles]

I have, for now, had to set my blog to private. Apparently -- according to such anonymous killjoys equally as bitchy as myself (well, as myself supposedly is) -- my blog is being spread all over the internet like wildfire as one of the most bitchy blogs as of late.

I do sincerely apologize to any readers that are offended by my supposed bitchiness. But I didn't realize I had to curtail my thoughts and filter them down to fit anyone's expectations. This is my e-diary and if you don't like it, eat it! It's just mind boggling to me that anyone would take such time to type out such comments and leave them.

Oh yes, dear anonymous, I think I will reform and become a more positive person now. Your dubious commenting has lead me to the light. I can see it now -- the glass is slowly becoming half full!!! Is this some sort of new martyrdom -- throwing yourself to the wolves of blogging in an attempt to rid the internet of negativity?

I do openly admit my bitchiness...regularly, in fact. If you had read thoroughly you'd see that time and time again. I am aware of the level of bitch in my blog.

And yes, I do get happy from time to time. In fact, I'm actually a quite cheerful person. Albeit cynical, most of my friends see me in a different light than that of a person who thinks they know everything about someone from a few blog posts. Pardon me if my life's misgivings are stepping on your toes. I didn't realize I needed to mourn the loss of a child (or other losses in my life) with a big fat smile on my face and a peachy outlook on everything.

If you don't like the glass being half empty, then don't drink the freakin' water.

[Back to regularly scheduled blogging soon]

Actually, It's "woe"...

Dear anonymous,

I'm glad to know that you read my blog. Even further, I'm glad that even though you claim to look at the positive side of things, my blog made you reach down into the negative part of you and type that lovely little tidbit you left for me.

It's good to know I arouse such emotions.

However, for future reference, I would like you to know that the saying is "Oh woe is me."

Main Entry: ¹woe
Pronunciation: 'wO
Function: interjection
Etymology: Middle English wa, wo, from Old English wA; akin to Old Norse vei, interjection, woe, Latin vae
-- used to express grief, regret, or distress
(Courtesy Merriam-Webster Online)

vs.

Main Entry: whoa
Pronunciation: 'wO, 'hO, 'hwO
Function: verb imperative
Etymology: Middle English whoo, who
1 -- a command (as to a draft animal) to stand still
2 : cease or slow a course of action or a line of thought : pause to consider or reconsider -- often used to express a strong reaction (as alarm or astonishment)
(Courtesy Merriam-Webster Online)

I may be negative, however I would like to think that I know how to spell -- contextually that is.

Nonetheless, I thank you for your emotional response to a blog floating in cyberspace. I would encourage you not to read it if you do not like it. After all, I would not want my negative, bitchy posts to impose upon your righteous Dharma-following life.

Oh, do you need a definition of Dharma as well?

That is all,

B

Potties and Peaches

Yay! Adrien has hated me changing his diapers, so jokingly I asked him if he needed to go potty on Friday. He knows what is because I always take him with me and say "Let's go potty..." Anyway, he ran to the bathroom. So I was thinking "Oh ya right...but whatever" So I took his diaper off and tried to hold him up to the toilet. He didn't like that. I had given up. So I went to get him a new diaper and when I came back into the bathroom he was pointing at the floor. He had gone potty in the floor LOL. So I was thinking it was a fluke. But about an hour later I thought I'd try again because his diaper was still dry. This time, I put him in the tub so I wouldn't have to clean the floor. I said "Go potty" and he did!!!!

So we've been going potty since Friday evening! And he's only had a few accidents, mostly in the late evening when he's tired or when I forget to take him. He's also pooped in the potty (tub) five times. The first time he pooped, I sat him in the potty chair and he went in there, but hasn't liked it since. I know you probably think I'm crazy for the bath tub thing, but I didn't have a potty chair. My mom bought him one, but he still prefers the tub. The potty chair came with an adapter for the big toilet, so last night I tried that. He liked sitting on the big potty much more than the potty chair. The rest of the chair turns into a step stool. So now we try to sit on the toilet before the tub. So far (which has only been twice), he hasn't actually gone in the toilet -- he still prefers the tub. But he's getting the hang of it! After he goes he claps haha! He knows he's doing something good.

He's also woken up from naps with dry diapers every day since Friday. He still goes in his diaper at night while he's asleep though...but that's to be expected.

I'm so excited! My little boy is getting big too fast...although I have to admit this is a good change!

He even got some "big boy pants"....he got pull ups and "real undies" -- the little Gerber training pants.

I posted about his potty training on a message board I used to frequent for babies born in May '06 and got some negative responses. Someone said he wasn't potty training because any baby would go in the tub if you took their diaper off. Piss off, negative nellies. The fact that he's showing initiative is great in my eyes. And if he stops, he stops...it would be less exhausting for me actually. But he doesn't always go, he just goes when he needs to...and he does take me. If nothing else, this will get him in the habit of going to the potty. Should make things much easier down the road. I actually got an email from the iVillage message board moderators saying that my message was flagged because I was posting to "disrupt" the board. I wasn't...I was just stating facts. Whatever. Childish.

Other than that, my Mom came to town this weekend for another Mary Kay event. She stopped on the way here and bought a peck of roadside pesticide free peaches from Cooper Farms. These peaches are the best! I wish the farm was closer though...so I could buy them all the time. The peaches from the store are never any good and they're never very sweet. So in an attempt to use all the peaches, I decided to make some peach cobbler. The recipe I used will need some modifications next time (I had a feeling it would while I was making it, but kept to the recipe anyway). It still turned out pretty good. It needed way more cinnamon and less liquid. I think next time I may possibly substitute part of the white sugar with brown sugar for a more rich flavor. I took some pictures of it. It smelled wonderful while it was cooking (even though the recommended cook time was stretched out to nearly an hour). Yummy yummy! Adrien also enjoyed the peaches. He LOVES them -- which of course makes his poo WONDERFUL. Ugh. I swear, he can devour a peach in about 15 minutes flat. Here are some pics:


We went to Surf and Swim today. It was a total blast. I think I got a little burned though, I didn't put sunscreen on before we left the house (too busy greasing up my little piglet) and then I left it at home on accident. Adrien had soooooooo much fun there. They have an awesome toddler area as well as a huge wave pool. Obviously we stuck to the toddler area for the most part, but enjoyed it so much. I did too. The $6 admission for me was well worth it and he got in for free since he's so young. I think we'll try to go back -- with Daddy.

Piss off

[Begin Childish Rant]

To my sister in law:

I would like to say Piss Off.

Andi came home today (we'd already been bickering while he was on his way home) and I wasn't very happy at all. There were a number of things I wasn't happy about. Just unhappy and disgruntled in general. I'm cooking dinner. Then he says "were you on myspace today?" I said yes. I was. He said "did you look at Megan's Myspace page?" And I said no. I knew automatically: She's pregnant.

Needless to say, I grabbed the nearest item (a full bottle of Pepto Bismol) and chunked it as hard as I could. I hope I like the big fat pink stain on my kitchen floor. I locked myself in the bathroom for a while. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. My hands are still a little numb from hitting the walls so many times so hard.

Fucking piss off you bitch!

I mean...she got pregnant the first time she f*cked Andi's brother when she was a 17 year old slut at some party and got drunk and had sex with some random guy who happened to be Andi's (older) brother. Now she's 22 with a 4 year old. And why is it that they just started "trying" last month and she gets pregnant the first time? I'd been off birth control for 10 months before I got pregnant this last time, and we all know how that ended. Not to mention the fact that Andi and I had unprotected sex for nearly 2 years before I got pregnant with Adrien. You see where this is headed, I'm sure.

I hope her baby is ugly and I hope she gets fat. She's a fuckin' aerobics instructor -- this is the one I refer to as Aerobics Barbie. This time around, she better get effin' stretch marks.

Oh, and I also hope she gets a fourth degree tear in delivery.

Piss the fuck off.

[End childish rant]

Top Secret Recipe

My top secret apple pie recipe is as follows:

Use your favorite double crust recipe OR use three parts flour to one part binder (such as COLD butter or COLD vegetable shortening/any combination of butter/shortening is good too). Have a about 1 cup cold ice water standing by in a spritz bottle. For example:

****Please note to not use this crust recipe verbatim. This is just an example and I suck at math, so I used the easiest measurements possible. Please refer to a cook book/professional guide.

3 cups flour to 3/4 cup COLD unsalted butter and 1/4 cup COLD vegetable shortening.
Cut flour into butter and shortening. Spritz with just enough water to hold together. Gather crust together and wrap in plastic wrap. Chill for 30 minutes in the fridge. Turn out on floured surface and roll with floured pin. You get the point. You know how to make pie crust -- or buy it at the store! ;-)

FILLING:
2-4 lbs. Granny Smith Apples Peeled, cored, sliced. (amt. will vary depending on size of pie pan and height of pie desired. For "normal" 9.5" pie pan use about 2 1/2-3lbs. The weights referred to are the weight of the apples prior to peeling and coring, etc.

1/4-1/3 Cup tightly packed DARK brown sugar (amt. will vary for amt. of apples used. obviously use more for more apples, less for less apples)

1 TBS. granulated white sugar

A pinch of salt

1 TBS. Corn Starch (you may need more to thicken it properly with more apples and sugar, use your judgment)

2 TBS. lemon juice (orange juice works great too)

2 TBS. Cinnamon

1 TBS. Apple pie spice (or 1 tsp. nutmeg, 1/2 tsp, clove, 1/2 tsp allspice,1/2 tsp additional cinnamon)

2 TBS. unsalted butter

1 egg, beaten

Preheat oven to 350 Fahrenheit.

In large pot, combine apples and toss with lemon juice. Add salt, brown sugar, white sugar, spices and butter. Heat on medium heat until sugar and butter are melted. Stir constantly to prevent scorching. Remove from heat and sprinkle in corn starch; stir thoroughly to remove any lumps. No one wants to bite into a lump of corn starch -- ICK. The consistency should be very gooey and not runny at all. [I'm a culinary technicality waiting to happen, I know] Allow to cool at room temperature for approximately 15 minutes, or until it can be handled without burning you.

Roll out crust and lay bottom crust into pan. After the filling is cooled, pour it into the crust and try to level out any huge lumps in the top so that it won't tear the top crust when laying it on. Lay on top crust. Tuck extra crust under bottom crust and flute or crimp as desired. Brush top crust with beaten egg and cut at least 4 vent holes. Bake in 350 degree oven for 40-45 minutes or until crust is golden brown. To prevent the fluted edge of the crust from browning too much or burning while baking, cover with strips of tin foil after first 15-20 minutes of baking.

Yum.

I am not Little Miss Muffet. I am not sitting on a tuffet. And I'm not [unfortunately] eating curds and whey. So why does a spider feel need to sit down beside me? I have had it up to *here with these spiders in my house! I had just brought Adrien in from our trip to the mall yesterday and put him down for a nap, when I was standing by the back door and saw something (very fleeting) out of the corner of my eye. I heard a slight puuuh noise as something landed on the floor. I looked down. A huge brown spider. Had I not moved just before (it's my spidey sense), that spider would have sat down beside 'er and landed right on my shoulder. Gosh, can't all the arachnids just stay outside? If they knew what was good for them they would. That little spider that dropped from the ceiling was immediately smashed to bits with my nearby Birkenstock look-alike sandal.

Adrien is driving me bonkers. He's so cranky. He's cutting two molars and on top of it, his nose has been insanely runny for the past few days. I'm not worried about infection, because the nasty mucous hasn't turned colors yet...but still. I'm tired of wiping his nose. He's so darn cantankerous! It took me half the morning today just to get his shorts on him. He refuses to be put into his high chair most of the time (but does it perfectly for Daddy) and just runs around with a sour look on his face. I know the teeth hurt, but come one. Cut Momma some slack! He's asleep now. I drugged him with some of his decongestant. I generally try to only give him the medicine before bedtime, but couldn't resist today. He had Niagara Falls rushing out of his nose and I needed him to sleep for a while today. I need it. Lately his naps have started to decrease little by little. Some days he'll only sleep for an hour and a half. It's exhausting. I'm trying to come up with something for us to do today. I think I'll try the salt dough thing and make some stuff. I'm also going to make some buckwheat pancakes and much on those. Did I mention he's on hunger strike still? There's not much he seems interested in eating. Maybe the pancakes will do something for him. I like to substitute pureed fruits/veggies for the oil. Yum. Oh, and I mix some syrup in with the mix to sweeten it a tad, because I'm sure Adrien and syrup would get along GREAT!

So wish me luck. I'm incredibly bored and terribly tired. I have a sassy 15 month old to deal with. Gosh. But other than that, everything's dandy.

Here are some pics of my yummy apple pie from the other day. You know you want the recipe haha. So ask if you do. OH and also, we were sorting through Adrien's clothes he's grown out of on Sunday and we found his Tigger costume he wore for Halloween last year. He was smitten with it so we put it on him for laughs. He loved it! He ran around in it for quite a while. Too cute. I have to say, though, that a Piglet costume would be more fitting. Enjoy!

9 1/2 Inches of Pie Perfection

Too bad you don't have Smell-o-Vision!

Piglet as Tigger.

Oh, and Randomly: I taught Adrien where his nose is at. Subsequently, he's found how fun it is to stick his fingers in those holes there.

And since my random internet crap was a hit the other day, here's more [just for good measure].

Classifieds

Cool Fantasy Art

***Finding those sites are what my husband does at work all day. Must be nice LOL.