Friday, November 2, 2007

Picking apart a Guru

Yes, NaBloPoMo, I am yielding. Nothing too exciting from today to post about...but I'll dig way down deep -- a few days ago deep -- for this one. [Oh, and in case you're wondering, I finally made my soup today. SUPER!]

On Wednesday, a friend and I ventured over to Wholesome Living Guru's house for a little mini-play date. I always like going to this woman's house because I know she's always chomping at the bit to throw in her wholesome advice on living, cooking, and doctoring.

Normal Friend mentioned to Wholesome Living Guru lady something about breakfast, and anyway, the subject was turned onto kids' cereal bars: which brand is best. Obviously Normal Friend and I are amateurs at feeding our children properly, so we need the fill-in advice of Wholesome Living Guru (or so she thinks). Normal Friend mentioned something about how she tried the Gerber ones, but then realized that they had zero nutrition. This sent Wholesome Living Guru into a frenzy of explaining the hazards of dyes, food colorings, and yes, the dreaded corn syrup. A five minute lecture on this matter. Five minutes. Normal Friend and I sat there nodding our heads, not able to get a word in edgewise. Later on she offered us some free Gerber Graduates Meals (gag). Now those are some wholesome meals.

I remember another occasion at Wholesome Living Guru's House with Normal Friend. There we sat discussing fevers and medications, etc, when Wholesome Living Guru got into a sort of argument with Normal Friend [who comes complete with medical degree] about how fevers have a purpose...and how she doesn't give medicine unless her child's fever is over 102. Normal Friend has a medical degree. Yet, when Normal Friend explained the pros of fever reducing medications, Wholesome Living Guru stood strong. I mean obviously, her three years of parenthood outweigh a medical degree. What was Normal Friend thinking. I mean, I didn't even try to argue with Wholesome Living Guru on this one. It's a moot point. If she argues with a medical degree backed person, what would she think of my fashion design wielding self?

So then, in irony of all ironies, as I walked into Wholesome Living Guru's kitchen to pour myself another cup of (organic) coffee, I noticed something. Something insignificant. Something so small and ridiculous...nevertheless it made my heart glow. Upon inspection, her dishwasher was set on High Heat Dry, High Heat Wash and Energy Saver was switched off.

Yes, yes, I know. Immature, maybe; nit picky -- sure! But this little switch that wasn't flipped made my heart sing.

I had her beat on one wholesome front: My energy saver is on, buddy! On like Donkey Kong.

Take that!


Rantings by a Middle Aged Drama Queen said...

See THAT is why I don't go to playdates and I don't host them! I would so lose everytime! I am me I enjoy what I enjoy and I do digest corn syrup and so do my kids and they seem pretty darn normal (most of the times). :)

Candace said...

this was great!
I love learning about being concious regarding food and all things parenting but come on get real! If you are an annoying, condescending prick then it makes me want to go the other way. New info has to be accesible otherwise it's just an insecure person trying to flaunt how much more they know. good on you for noticing her button was off and you took the high road and didn't rub it in her holier than thou face!

Erin said...

B - You are the best!!

From - Normal Friend :o)

Sane Elaine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

LMAO! That is too funny and so glad you shared this!


And you know, Wholesome Living Guru probably doesn't "believe" in modern medical science or that the AMA and CDC know what they're talking about.

Kelly said...

Haha that was so good.. I know one too many 'Guru's'..but no matter what I do, its so not good enough..for came over to my home and I had the t.v...godforbid! Her kids aren't allowed to watch. And another one won't put their kids in the bath without one of those little dohickeys called "RainShower" or something that de-chlorinates the water..oh and don't forgot how bad of a mother I am that I let little have bottles of water..the plastic? God, someone call cps!