Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Love your enemy's jibberish

Ever woke up one day with a feeling of you've lost yourself? Or just that you feel far away from the place in life you should be? Here comes the hippie dippy jibber jabber again, but really. I'm a hippie dippy kinda' gal [sometimes].

I mentioned in my last post something about:

It almost feels like I woke up one day and decided that everything in my life presently is wrong.

And so I do (feel that way). I don't know if it's morals or karma pulling on me. Could be just hormones...but I can't help but feel like Jesus and Buddha are in the back of my head simultaneously reminding me of the "do unto others" clause in my spiritual contract. Sunday School this past week focused on loving others, and loving your enemies. You know, the whole "If someone slaps your cheek, offer the other" type thing. I've been thinking about my current situation lately -- even before Sunday School this past week. How associations with people could change you indefinitely -- and not necessarily for the better. How every action has an equal and opposite reaction. All that crap -- ya know. And I ain't talkin' physics. It has a lot to do with the subject matter of my post yesterday.

A question that arose in my mind during Sunday School was this: when do you say enough is enough? I get the whole parable of the cheek slapping. I understand the "if someone takes your cloak, offer up your tunic as well." Jesus taught at the Sermon on the Mount that you should love your enemies and have them do what they will. Our class on Sunday surmised that what he most likely meant was for the offender to come to terms with their own misgivings through your submission to their tortures. Like someone will abuse you long enough and one day say "Gee, why are you letting me do this? I am wrong." But that doesn't always happen. So therein lies the persistence part, and somewhere along the way I'm sure there's a moral to the story about just that: hanging on when the times get tough. As a person, you should love your enemies enough and respect their point of view to allow the actions to occur. I get all that. I do. But when is it alright to stand up for yourself, or to do something to change the situation. I certainly don't think Jesus meant that you should stand and beaten down over and over without turning the tides.

However, nowhere in His sermon did Jesus decree that one could not just avoid the situation all together. Maybe that's a cop out. Possibly. But, it does seem one way of dealing with a persistent problem. Case in point, a problematic person. If one is having problems with a person, doesn't it make sense to avoid them altogether, therefore avoiding said problem? I think so.

I'm beating around the bush a bit. I know -- but in my defense, I mentioned hippie dippy jibber jabber in the first paragraph of this post. Jibber jabber meaning just that. So you knew what you were getting yourself in for. Hang with me here.

What I'm really trying to say (under all the parables and prophetic screaming in my head), is that I'm starting to feel like there are people and situations in my life that are making my karma feel a bit clogged. They're cloudin' up my aura...turning it to black I'm sure (the bit about being unbalanced, not protected). All of this is making me feel so uneasy about everything. Last night I could hardly get to sleep. The weight of current situations is pressing in hard on me, and I just don't like it one bit. I don't think I had much to do with bringing these situations into my life, either. I mean, I didn't personally -- rather I brought them into my life through other people who I associate with. Get it? I'm letting everyone else's drama become my own, and in the end no one wins that way.

So, back to the solution. Removing myself from the situation. That'd be great if it were only that easy. How are you supposed to remove yourself from your own life? The problems involve so many people I associate with that I'd literally be turning my life upside down if I just removed myself completely. But if I go on with the associations, I think I'll only become more and more clouded and uncomfortable.

I just need to get up the balls to let everyone know how the cow ate the cabbage. (You've seriously never heard that saying?) I don't even know if that would be the right thing to do. You're supposed to love your enemies...but these aren't even enemies. They're people I call friend.

I just can't tell where they fit into my life anymore. I don't think they do. But without them, I'd really have no one.

I don't know what to do and I've just about parabled myself into a corner here. Too bad I can't have a good stiff drink right now. Seriously.

Rum and coke, anyone?


Rantings by a Middle Aged Drama Queen said...

In the end B people that are your "true" friends will continue to be even if you stand up for what you believe is right! You always know I am in your corner :) I think the reason I have no "moral" conflict is because I choose no sides (everyone is treated equally) enemies and friends alike, therefore there ARE no enemies( I know that doesn't sound right) :)

Stephanie said...

Dr. Seuss said it best, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." (And yes, I think Dr. Seuss had enough wisdom to qualify as someone to turn to for teaching. :grin:)

In all seriousness, there's truth in that simple statement for even adults. As someone who's recently struggled with the ideas of setting boundaries, ending passive-aggressive behaviors, etc, I will tell you that it does, in fact, only get worse the longer it goes on.

And? It's really true -- the people who matter don't mind a bit.

Erin said...

Hi, I stumbled across your blog the other day while Googling how to stop tongue bleeding. A buddy here at work bit his tongue at lunch, and it was still bleeding two hours later. Anyway, your particular blog post was no help in that department (we found other sites that said to try putting ice on it, he did, and he's fine now), but I read the post out of curiosity. I loved your style, so I started reading all of your other posts, too.

You don't know me, and I don't know you, but you seem to totally understand the way I think. We haven't had the same life experiences, but you have articulated many things that I have thought about for a long time. I don't have any kids yet, but I want to, and I love your anecdotes and your honesty.

Anyway, you have inspired me to resume my old blog as a way to process my own thoughts, and I'll definitely be back here to check out your newest insights.

B said...

Erin -

Thank you for your kind comment. I'm glad you found and like my blog. Glad to inspire bloggy-ness!

Also, glad to hear the tongue stopped bleeding, and am apologetic that my blog offered no solution. Did you try a C-clamp? LOL JK.


Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

Hmmm... Sorry you're feeling this way. I have to agree with drama queen... those that are your true friends will stick by you.

And I don't really think Jesus was talking about letting your enemies beat you down. Afterall, He didn't do that. He stood up for His beliefs and in the end it cost him His life, but He didn't back down.

Yes, you need to "turn the other cheek" -- I take this to mean as not to let it get YOU down. You need to take for what it is and not "reciprocate" the "hatred" and meanness done to you.

Rather, rise above it.

It's amazing how the right scripture comes to us when we need it most, isn't it? Listen to your heart, pray about it, you will know the right thing to do!