So what.

So why is it that random people turn on you for absolutely no apparent reason?

It's not like it should matter, but really, it does. How quickly someone on line can piss you off, I mean.

There is a girl who I met a few years ago online. I don't exactly remember how we met, other than she's now a MySpace friend of mine. I think we met in an online eating disorder support group. Yes, that's right -- eating disorder support group. Eat your heart out...no pun intended. (Just don't throw it back up afterward).

Anywho, I'm perusing MySpace today and I see a bulleting from said starving girl. It was entitled "Perhaps." She generally has a cutsie angst-ridden outlook on things, so I opened the bulletin to see what she was mulling over today. It was a cartoon she'd drawn. It was a stick figure girl laying in a red and black swirling thingy with tears coming from her eyes.

I hit reply.

":("

She hit reply back, and I got this:

"why do you still care? internet friends arent real, they're more like ghosts. they dont really mean anything. "

So I hit reply back, of course.

"um...well. let's see. i'm a stay at home mom who never gets out of the house. the people i know in real life don't get much more interesting than talking about their baby's poop habits.

it's not very nice to insult people who really do give a flip.

i'm sorry you're not feeling well...but do you have to take it out on someone who's trying to be nice?

so does that mean i don't mean anything. i completely understand if that's the case...but really -- what'd i do to you?"

I mean, seriously. There was a time when said girl and I talked on the phone. We were each other's support system. We kept each other from going into anorexic-induced week long sugar free hard candy eatin' only binges. She was really there for me when I ate two bites of cantaloupe and wanted to barf it back up because I felt guilty.

Said girl moved away from mommy a year or so ago and has since "found herself." She's a eco-geek that has all the aspiration to save the world while morning each individual tree in Borneo that's being harvested for paper or tract housing lumber.

I admire your depression, said girl...I truly do. But only from a distance. Don't throw it back at me because, in my boredom, I was trying to be nice.

I really do not understand why it hurt my feelings so much. It just did. I'll blame it on hormones (or lack thereof).

Also, from the depths of MySpace scourges near you, I have come to dislike my sister in-law even less. Really -- if that is possible. She has a child who is four. She is a SIZE 2 and is oh...5'9'' or so. [Previously stated eating disorders probably lend to why I'm a bit snooty towards her. While I let go of my selfish starving habit, hers seems to be in full force. ] Did I mention she's an aerobics instructor. My mother in-law and I agree -- she IS Aerobics Barbie.

Once again, in the bulletin portion of this stupid site, I see one from my sister in law. I was very bored. I opened it. It was an invitation to her aerobics class. Apparently she's branched off from the one she was teaching at a country club (or some gym, who knows) and is now running her own.

I couldn't resist hitting the reply button to send some fake interest her way.

"aww! good luck! i'd love to, but ya know...a two hour drive for a one hour class isn't practical lol. are you doing these yourself or at the gym where you were teaching?

good luck!

we'll be down this weekend. maybe we'll see ya!"

That was a lot of effort to fake all that interest I was showing. And this is all I got in return:

"I'm doing them myself. Be safe driving to [insert name of city she lives in here]."

I refuse to fake interest for her sake again. Who wants Aerobics Barbie as a friend, anyway?

I guess initial said girl is right. Internet friends are ghosts. But sometimes the company of ghosts is just fine in my book. As long as they're not uber-skinny Barbie ones.